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January 13, 2017
God is not a simulation expert.
July 25, 2018
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I have always thought Pride was not subtle.

It was puffed up. It was apparent, very apparent.

Like Jay Z apparent. The man calls himself HOVA for Jehovah for goodness sake!

Or that arrogant rich kid we all went to school with.

Those people are proud.

Certainly not me.

God himself said He would oppose the proud.

Certainly He cannot be talking about me.

So pride wasn’t an issue that concerned  me.

I did my thing with Jesus and Jesus loves his girl.
Good times, all around. Right?

WRONG! Like President Trump would say. 

God recently  began to reveal to me  the state of my heart. I must say it wasn’t  pretty nor was it pleasant. It was actually shocking and embarrassing.

First He led me to James 4 vs 10 ” Humble yourself before the Lord and he will lift you up. “

Then he led me to passage in II Samuel  and I had to get the right interpretation from a mentor. Solomon was a man that did not hold back with building, beautifying the temple of God. the passage talks about a man skilled in making objects for buildings. It essentially was talking about me being or ( my heart) being the temple that God was skillfully repairing and building.

Pride is most times not apparent. Its the subtle type that takes preeminence then congeals in our heart, that is the most dangerous. The one  that exalts  your intellect or intelligence above seeking God’s face. Its essentially acting like you know more than God. Its not a conscious decision. We unconsciously  choose our will so often that it becomes a way of life.

 Its the subtle type  that is most dangerous because you don’t even realize you have a problem.
 So it becomes stronger and stronger until “self” or “me me me” becomes the “god” of your life But  because you are a christian, of course you have to seek Gods face. So you make a decision then ask for God’s approval. That arrangement works for us, the one where God is the malleable assistant that does not disrupt our carefully layed out plans.

See pride, how the enemy devises it, is not puffed up and apparent. Its not like the peacock we so liken it with, that would be too obvious. It is more refined  and yet  more damaging.

It has not been easy accepting  the deeply ingrained flaws that are part of me. But God reminded me of  Psalm 118 vs 18.  Chastisement is for the children of God. So I take the correction and move on.

I think humility is something we all have to practice everyday. That deliberate humbling of ones self has to be exactly what its called … deliberate. Its an act that acknowledges that you are nothing without God and can do nothing apart from him.It a constant checking of the heart, putting every decision before the holy spirit. Its takes practice because it is not that natural for me.

I strongly believe the un- shared story is the only tragic story. If you die without sharing your story you died without preventing another person from making the same mistakes. Its waste of  your pain and suffering, the least you could do is save another person from that.

So that’s it folks.
My shared story of how I thought I was the epitome of humble but  in God’s eyes I was exactly like Jay -Z….. but for the cross.
Thank God for Jesus. : )

Live fearless

Eniola P